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In today's gay communities. I have come to the hard stereo type conclution that it is difficult to find true love. I am also equally convinced that many gay men are more attracted to looks, sex and sometimes money, then they are to the soul or heart of a gay partner. I believe many people in the gay community should step back and look at their values and goals in such a way that supports the (ultimate) united entity. What ever happened to the real sense of romance and commitment to that someone special in our lives? Are some people trying to find their nitch on the map or are they seeking some sort of independent freedom? Do some people really know what it is to truly be in love with someone and be (unconditionaly) loved in return? Whatever the case may be, it is really refreshing to see two people truely in love with each other. It is magical and self assuring that there is still hope for the gay community. I WISH I HAD REAL LOVE!

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There are thousands of men, both straight and gay, in similar emotional love circumstances and I offer this piece in hope they might find some useful thoughts in dealing with their own emotional situations.

Our society has done us all a great disservice by making sex (let alone sexual orientation) a taboo topic. While offering it up in every TV ad and magazine, I look forward to the day when we can just be the normal sextual human beings we were created to be.

I don't believe that someone can be commited to more than one person at a time. It is possible to be in love with more than one person, and to have sexual flings with any number, but I don't think that we can share commitment.

People should follow their intuition as much as possible. Our intuition represents the part of our consciousness that is most connected with a larger spiritual conciousness - which has far more insight than we do. Mine has rairly gotten me in trouble. The trick is to know what is intuition and what is simply the penis-brain whispering.

I think there are many cases where long-time partners, married or not, decide by unspoken agreement, that they will not talk about certain things.

I share with my generation, the scars of a society that condemned those deemed queer (the more positive term "gay" wasn't used when I was young). We all have painful memories of times when we were kids and were almost found out, or were exposed. I understand the fears that many people may have (not being accepted) as a gay person.

A psychotherapist has an interesting saying that comes to mind. "For every person who would like to be a knife, another would gladly be a wound". In any relationship, agreements can be made regarding any and all sorts of matters. S&M thrives because one partner wants to be the S and the other the M. Spousal abuse is an example of such an agreement; even though at a subconscious level. Significant choices will be made by lovers at all junctures.

Love is like grace, The more we give, the more we have.